I’d been
sensing the nudge of the Holy Spirit for awhile. When September came around, it
was an indistinct sense that something was up, something was coming. As the
fall progressed, the sense grew stronger. One morning I read Matthew 16-18 and there
were several verses that seemed to pulse off the page and command my attention:
Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you,
Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not
revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 16:17).
But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me,
Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you
are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Then Jesus
turned to His disciples and said, “If
anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his
cross, and follow Me” (Matthew
16: 23-24).
And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him;
and the child was cured from that very hour. Then the disciples came to Jesus
privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” So Jesus said to them, “Because
of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard
seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will
move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However,
this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting” (Matthew 17:
20-21).
“If your hand
or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better
for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two
feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you.
It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two
eyes, to be cast into hell fire” (Matthew 18:
8-9).
It became suddenly clear to me that God was calling me to a
time of intense focus on Him. I didn’t know yet what form it would take, but I
knew it would be a departure from the ordinary.
Life went on. September blurred into October, and I kept
doing the things I do: feeding the boys, helping them get ready for school,
emptying the dishwasher, reading the Bible, meeting with people, taking
pictures, reading blogs, journaling, doing laundry, reading magazines, tidying
the house, getting groceries, perusing my calendar. But underneath each of
these normal, everyday things was a current of expectation. And as October
waned, I flipped forward to look at the next month’s calendar and suddenly knew
what I needed to do. I needed to practice saying NO. I needed to observe NO-vember.
Although I was certain this was the direction I was to take,
I was a little unsure how exactly to go about it. Was I supposed to say NO to
everything? To certain types of things? To certain people? Being a girl who
likes to understand expectations and follow directions, I was uncomfortable
with the vagueness of this challenge. So I kept grappling.
He reminded me that if
anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old
things have passed away; behold all things have become new (2 Cor.
5:17). Even though I’ve read this verse a gazillion times, this got me
thinking: what vestiges of OLD are
holding me back from the NEW? I
thought about habits I’ve had for years, those that have lingered not because
they’re unobjectionable but because I’ve never fully or continually surrendered
them. I thought about patterns of thinking that consistently undermine me (I’m
talkin’ about you, Insecurity and Comparison). I thought about my inconsistent
levels of discipline, and my tendency to choose fun over work.
And He pulled my attention again to those verses from
Matthew, reminding me that He is the great revealer, and that there is
no substitute for time with Him.
So I should
block out time for Him.
which means saying no to:
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so that I can say yes to:
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Social engagements
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Solitude; focused time with Him; honing in on His
purposes for me
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He was calling me to be mindful of His things, not the
world’s things; to deny myself and follow Him.
So I
should say “no” to the things that distract me from Him, distract me from His
purpose for me.
which means saying no to:
|
so that I can say yes to:
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Frivolous spending
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Financial responsibility; giving
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Agreeing to a task/invitation in order to garner
favor or avoid conflict
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Relying solely on Him for my value and definition
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Frittering away hours on social media
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Devoting time to Him: reading the Bible, praying,
and writing
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He was alerting me that some of His purposes are
accomplished only through prayer and fasting.
So I must
make time and room in my life for these things.
He was exhorting me to cut off anything causing me to sin and
cast it from me.
So I
should avoid situations where I might look to others for my definition, or be
distracted or tempted away from Him or His purposes. This could be as varied as
eliminating social get-togethers, cutting out sugar, or not going into stores.
As I reviewed my calendar with these things in mind and
prayed some more about it, I arrived at these guidelines for the month:
GOALS:
- More time daily in prayer, Bible-reading, and reflection
- More time daily doing what I sense He’s been asking me to do, but I’ve let slide: write, and develop a writing ministry
- More time daily doing what fills, stimulates, and energizes me: reading, writing, creating
- Renewed surrender of my food addiction
APPROACH:
- Say NO to plans with people, with the following exceptions:
- Pre-existing commitments (like the annual visit from my friend Jess and the quarterly Art Playdate with Mary and Rachel).
- Standing weekly or monthly commitments (like Growth Group, weekly lunch with my family, phone call with Mary Margaret, or mentoring commitments)
- Those that directly further one of the above goals.
- Say NO to time-frittering behaviors (watching shows on DVD, reading blogs, checking Instagram) totaling more than one hour daily except on our weekly Date Nights, when we can watch a movie.
- Say NO to going shopping other than the annual trip to Anthology when Jess is in town and an antiquing trip with my mom for my birthday.
- Say NO to eating whenever and whatever I want.
One thing I want to be clear about: These were the things
God was challenging ME to do for this particular time. He was asking me to do
some things that don’t come naturally to me, which is exactly why I need to
practice them. This month is intended to be a reset. An interlude. A Selah. A
stop-in-order-to-continue. I do not believe He is calling me to live
indefinitely with minimal social commitments, though there’s always the
possibility that He will. I want to be open to whatever He is teaching me.
That’s what makes this so exciting!
So I have delved expectantly into this month of NO. And I
will be excited to emerge from it, with new perspective and a fresh
understanding of YES.
